Meet Heather: A Mentor’s Perspective on Trust, Healing and Hope

For 13 years, Heather has faithfully walked alongside children at Hope Reins. Before each session, she prays for the child she will meet. Then she arrives ready to listen, remain curious and discover where connection might begin that day.

In this mentor interview, Heather shares what first brought her to Hope Reins, how horses help children practice healthy relationships and how serving at the ranch has shaped her own healing and faith.

How long have you been mentoring at Hope Reins?

I have been mentoring at Hope Reins for 13 years.

What experience did you have with children before becoming a mentor?

I have four children of my own, three boys and a girl. One of my children has special needs due to a childhood illness. I had also worked with children at church through teaching, leading camps, Vacation Bible School and other activities.

What first drew you to become a mentor at Hope Reins?

Honestly, I initially came for myself.

For years, our family participated in a program based in the Philadelphia area for children with brain injuries. The program required me to do something with my son every five minutes, 12 hours a day. Volunteers would come and help us, and several of them knew I loved horses and had a counseling background. They encouraged me to check out Hope Reins.

At first, I couldn’t imagine ever having enough time to volunteer somewhere. But God was at work. My other children were growing up, and my son reached a point where he could be more independent. I reached out to Hope Reins and began volunteering as a feeder and session leader.

God began to awaken gifts in me that had been set aside while I served my son and my family. At the same time, He began bringing healing to my own story.

What does it look like to build trust with a child who may arrive carrying trauma, fear or uncertainty?

First, it looks like prayer. I never meet with a child without spending time praying for them. Each week, I pray all the way from my home to the ranch for the sessions I will have that day.

Second, it means showing up and being consistent and present. It means remaining curious and learning what makes a child tick: What interests them? Where does this child have an access point today?

You can’t rely entirely on what happened in the past because each week may bring a new version of that child.

Whether you are fishing, making crafts, working in the garden or spending time with a horse, these access points help you begin building a connection. You listen and attune well. You remain curious. You allow silence when it is needed.

How do horses create opportunities for connection, growth and healing?

Many of us have been hurt in relationships and developed strategies to keep ourselves safe in the aftermath of trauma. Horses provide a safe way to practice relationships by working on trust, communication, boundaries and leadership.

They also provide opportunities to practice rupture and repair. No relationship is free from moments of broken trust, so learning how to repair a relationship and why repair matters, is an important skill.

Horses allow us to risk being authentic. They help us recognize unhealthy patterns and begin learning how to love again without judgment or fear. With them, we can practice authenticity and take healthy relational risks.

Can you share a meaningful moment when you saw a child grow in trust, communication, boundaries or leadership?

There are so many!

I currently mentor an 11-year-old boy we’ll call Karl. Because of the instability and hardship he experienced while living with his birth mother, he is developmentally behind for his age. His early life included stealing in order to eat and neglect from the effects of a parent’s substance use and legal troubles. Experiences like these can harden a person, but Karl has been working on relationships with both me and his horse friend, Kody.

We missed a session because of Labor Day, so it had been a month since I had seen him. I asked if he had missed me, and he quickly said no.

I simply said, “Well, thank you for being honest with me,” and told him that I had missed him.

We moved right past that brief exchange and had a wonderful session fishing and playing gaga ball with friends. Karl handled learning new rules like a champ, without arguing as he sometimes might have in the past.

At the very end of the session, just as he was about to leave, we were alone at the Welcome Center. He poked me and asked, “You know what I said earlier?”

I honestly didn’t know what he meant, so he reminded me that he had said he didn’t miss me. Then he looked me in the eyes and told me he was sorry.

His willingness to learn the new gaga ball rules without arguing showed teachability. His decision to apologize for something that had happened an hour and a half earlier showed that we had developed trust and even more, he didn’t like that he had possibly broken that trust.

He demonstrated empathy by considering how his words might have affected me. He showed self-awareness and the courage to communicate that I had value. He honored me with his apology, and he demonstrated leadership because it was entirely unprompted. It had been sitting on his sweet, kind heart throughout the session.

That one moment revealed growth in all four of our resilience skills: trust, communication, boundaries and leadership.

How has serving as a mentor affected your own life and faith?

How has it not?

God continually answers prayers, and His faithfulness is on full display at the ranch every day. My faith in His power, goodness, love, holiness and justice—in His whole character, not only the aspects that are easy—has grown tremendously.

That growth has come through living out my faith, working through my own questions during my daily time with God, discussing those questions with other staff members and learning to communicate biblical truths in ways children can understand.

I have also grown in all four resilience skills during my own healing journey, both with God and with others. Honestly, I began in the same place as many of our children: with a mentor and a horse.

The horses have taught me so much about myself and my own responses to trauma. They have given me the courage to try new pathways instead of relying on old methods of self-protection. I have been able to practice first with the horses and then in relationships with the wonderful people on staff.

The Almighty God who created each of us demonstrates such personal goodness and kindness throughout our healing journeys. My time at Hope Reins has been a huge step in mine. It has drawn me closer to Jesus and helped me become more authentic and capable of building strong, healthy relationships.

God has been healing the places trauma harmed. There are so many ways I have grown and so many ways He has loved and healed me at Hope Reins. I have been deeply blessed.

What would you want donors to understand about the difference their support makes?

Thank you for making this pathway of healing available to so many, for the children, for us as mentors and for the horses. Many of us who serve as mentors could easily have been session kids ourselves at one time.

Children have a safe place where they can learn to be kids again. Trauma has forced many of them to see things they should never have seen and know things they should not have had to know at such tender ages.

This is spiritual work. We must fight in prayer for these children and their caregivers and for their hope and healing. 

This is physical work. Children are learning to show up, remain present and participate in their own healing.

This is relational work. It takes risk and courage to enter relationships after relationships have caused harm, but horses offer such a meaningful place to begin. Learning to trust, communicate, establish boundaries and demonstrate leadership in a healthy way is essential to healing.

This is emotional work. Children and caregivers need opportunities to be honest about the anger, grief and pain trauma has brought into their lives. Having empathetic witnesses, through a horse and a mentor for the child and listeners for the caregiver, is incredibly powerful.

This is mental work. Children and caregivers are learning and growing, sometimes challenging thoughts that have kept them bound by anxiety, depression or low self-esteem.

To all our donors, you make this important, multifaceted work possible through your gifts. You are every bit as important to this ministry as those of us serving at the ranch. You are part of the team.

Thank you for the role you play in bringing hope and healing to every child.